I've spoken about this before, and I'm sure I'll continue banging on about it for as long as the internet will have me...but anyone who says that being happy is easy is a bloody liar. Well, either that, or they should consider themselves supremely lucky. I feel like we're all told to strive for “big H Happy” - and there's a pervasive notion that your life won't be complete until you've found it.
The “big H Happy”, however, is elusive. Or it has been for me. It's not entirely “Happy’s” fault - of late, it's been fighting against some pretty stacked odds. Aftershock from some nasty heartbreak? Check. Illness in the family? Check. Loss of a beloved family pet? Check. The kind of work stress that bleeds into your life and makes you wake up in a cold sweat? Check. Encroaching uncertainty about what to do next? Check. So I can't blame “Happy” for struggling to push through all of that noise.
I have a solution though. I'm not trying for “big H Happy”: I'm taking small slices of “small h happy” where I can, and building them up like a jigsaw puzzle. And it turns out that, once you take the pressure off, pieces of “happy” are much easier to come by. I find mine in good people, in creative outlets, and in indulging my various geeky proclivities.
So here's what I must remember: write more (writing brings me pieces of happy), bake more (baking brings me pieces of happy), spend more time with family and friends (my loved ones bring me pieces of happy), embrace that new person who makes me smile (he brings me pieces of happy). When I let these things slide, my pieces of happy diminish, and everything else starts to get on top of me. But when that happens, I am letting myself be defeated. I know how to make things better, and I can make things better: I don't need to be rescued, as I can bloody well do it myself. I am woman, hear me roar...or something along those lines.
So here it is, my advice for anyone struggling with the hunt for the elusive “big H Happy” - don't beat yourself up for not having found it yet. Embrace “small h happy” where you can, and build up those little pieces of happiness until - who knows - maybe we’ll all realise we never needed sodding “big H Happy” anyway.
The “big H Happy”, however, is elusive. Or it has been for me. It's not entirely “Happy’s” fault - of late, it's been fighting against some pretty stacked odds. Aftershock from some nasty heartbreak? Check. Illness in the family? Check. Loss of a beloved family pet? Check. The kind of work stress that bleeds into your life and makes you wake up in a cold sweat? Check. Encroaching uncertainty about what to do next? Check. So I can't blame “Happy” for struggling to push through all of that noise.
I have a solution though. I'm not trying for “big H Happy”: I'm taking small slices of “small h happy” where I can, and building them up like a jigsaw puzzle. And it turns out that, once you take the pressure off, pieces of “happy” are much easier to come by. I find mine in good people, in creative outlets, and in indulging my various geeky proclivities.
So here's what I must remember: write more (writing brings me pieces of happy), bake more (baking brings me pieces of happy), spend more time with family and friends (my loved ones bring me pieces of happy), embrace that new person who makes me smile (he brings me pieces of happy). When I let these things slide, my pieces of happy diminish, and everything else starts to get on top of me. But when that happens, I am letting myself be defeated. I know how to make things better, and I can make things better: I don't need to be rescued, as I can bloody well do it myself. I am woman, hear me roar...or something along those lines.
So here it is, my advice for anyone struggling with the hunt for the elusive “big H Happy” - don't beat yourself up for not having found it yet. Embrace “small h happy” where you can, and build up those little pieces of happiness until - who knows - maybe we’ll all realise we never needed sodding “big H Happy” anyway.
